The Things I Wish I Could Forget, But Never Will...



Some nights, I find myself praying for amnesia.

Not the kind that makes you forget your own name or the people who have always been there, but the kind that would quiet the sound of yours in my heart. The kind that would soften the echoes of your laughter that still ring in my mind, long after you left. The kind that would let me close my eyes at night without seeing your face in every dream, without feeling the ghost of your touch in the empty spaces beside me.

But the truth is, I don’t really want to forget you.

If I did, I wouldn’t still be here waiting. Hoping. Loving you in silence, in the only way I know how. If I wanted to forget, I would have erased every trace of you from my life. I would have stopped listening to the songs we used to love, stopped looking for your reflection in strangers’ eyes, stopped whispering your name in my prayers. But I still do all of it, and maybe that’s what love really is an unshakable belief, even in absence.

People say time heals. They tell me that one day, I will wake up and this love will feel lighter, that the ache will fade into something distant, something manageable. But what if I don’t want it to? What if I don’t want to be free from the love I still carry for you? What if, instead of healing, I choose to hold on?

I have faith in love. I always have. I believe in the kind of love that endures storms, that stands unwavering in the face of distance and silence. The kind that waits patiently, even when the world says it’s foolish to do so. I believe that love, true love, doesn’t just disappear. It doesn’t become a lesson, or a regret, or a story we tell ourselves about what could have been. It simply is. And I know that what I feel for you is real.

So I wait. Not because I’m lost in the past, not because I don’t know how to move forward, but because my love for you is bigger than time, bigger than pain. And I trust that love the kind of love that doesn't fade, the kind that stays even when it has every reason to leave will always find its way.

I wonder if you ever think of me. If you ever pause for a second in the middle of your day, feeling a pull towards something you can’t quite name. If you ever see the places we once called ours and feel a lingering emptiness, a whisper in the back of your mind telling you that something, someone, is missing. I wonder if, for even a moment, you feel the weight of my love reaching for you across the distance.

And if you do if some part of you still remembers, still wonders, still feels then maybe this isn’t the end.

I don’t know if life will ever lead you back to me. I don’t know if the prayers I send into the sky will ever reach your heart. But I believe in love, and I believe in God, and I believe that some souls are meant to find each other again no matter how much time passes, no matter how far they drift apart.

So I will keep loving you. Without conditions, without expectations. Even if you never come back, even if my name fades from your lips, even if the universe has different plans for us. Because love, real love, does not demand anything in return. It just exists. And that’s enough.

One day, maybe you’ll read these words. Maybe you’ll realize that no matter how much time has passed, no matter how much life has changed, I never stopped believing in you, in us, in the love we once shared. Maybe you’ll see that I never left that I was always here, waiting, loving you in the only way I could.

Until then, I will keep writing. I will keep waiting. And I will keep loving you, in the quiet corners of my soul, in the prayers I send into the night, in the spaces where your absence still lingers.

Because some loves are worth waiting for.

With everything I have left,
Jeet 🌻

Location: Pune, Maharashtra, India

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